What excuses do you give yourself for consistently not doing or having what you want? If you’re consistently not getting the results that you want in life, something or maybe it’s someone is getting in your way…
I know what it’s like to feel stuck, paralysed by internal confusion, lack of confidence and doubt, unable to move forward. What I’ve come to realise is there are a few basic areas of you that you can concentrate on to pull you up out of the hole you created for yourself.
1. Overcoming Fear/Doubt
Each and every one of us feels FEAR. Fear is one of the biggest influencers to your progress. For some it’s a motivator but for most it brings about uncertainty, which keeps you stuck wondering “what if…”
Once you start along this path, your success is doomed before it begins. Yes, there’ll be times when you’ll have to anticipate problems occurring, to give yourself the best chance of success. The thing is asking questions such as “what if” simply creates more uncertainty.
Take a look at this acronym… FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Trying to project an outcome to any situations where change is needed will keep you stuck – what if I fail, what if I lose money; what if they don’t love me; what if they get angry. All this stuff is simply going on in YOUR head, YOU’RE the one making it up and it’s not real.
Successful people tackle uncertainty differently, they see it as an opportunity to learn. Their answers give power to embrace change – “Am I willing to be/feel uncomfortable to get the results that I want?”
Being able to cope with discomfort is a huge part of change and growth.
How willing are you to be/feel discomfort? It’s great to be comfortable but no one got to where they wanted to be by being comfortable. You can choose to live in your comfort zone it’s safe and familiar. Your comfort zone is also your prison. Restricting, stifling, keeping you stuck
2. Change your Habit
40% of all that you do is habitual. This means that at least 40% of daily actions we’re not even consciously thinking about.
When you’re in a habit, it’s difficult to see how deeply you’ve gotten into a rut. When living it, it’s hard to get a perspective on life.
This is where we have to engage a little bit more with our conscious brain. What are you doing or not doing? Ask yourself “what are the results I want?”
Once you know what you’re looking for, you can begin to take action and create new habits. Ask yourself “what habits do I need to have in place to create the outcome I want?” What actions do I need to create consistently to get the results that I want?”
One thing that I find works great for clients of mine is to consider taking 5% more action or more responsibility for any area of their life. You can do this too. What does 5% more in your life, business, and/or love look like?
The great thing about this simple technique is that it moves you forward gradually. Many people fail to achieve because they create huge tasks for themselves, which simply aren’t sustainable. Taking regular consistent action/responsibility in your life, business, health etc. will have far more of an effect to help you achieve the outcome you want.
3. Develop your self-care muscle
How you feel about yourself has a direct impact on your self-confidence and self-belief. Let’s face it you’re no fun when you’re burned out, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. For years I strived for success, doing everything I could for others, to be the BEST mum, wife, friend and ultimately the best coach.
I put pressure on myself and this simply had me believing that to be the BEST others deserved more of my time, patience and care. My own needs came 2nd … not how I feel these days, I hasten to add.
My experience has taught me that by putting me first helps me to be “Better than Best” More fun to be with, more supportive of others. I have more patience and am more productive. Not to mention more present, loving and sexy.
The point at which I began taking care of my needs without pleasing others first was a turning point in my success, my self-confidence. Others around me get to see the REAL ME. They benefit far more now, from my happiness.
Now, I‘m not talking about only thinking about yourself 24/7, simply to think more about you. We’ve been taught that being selfish is bad and being selfless is good. There is a clear distinction between selfishness and self-caring. Showing compassion towards your needs is in no way a selfish act.
Women rarely get what they want in life because they put the needs, wants, expectations and desires of others first. I work predominantly with busy career women to help them make life work, and Step Up into the Best version of themselves. Helping you to remove barriers that stop you being who you want to be and going after the life you were always meant to live.
Whatever your image of you is, working with me you’ll regain that excitement about life; feel more confident, sexy and powerful.